The end of civilization is a near certainty.


Click on THIS link and watch this little dickbag rap. It's such a nice thing to be Jewish so I have the freedom to call out this little spoiled Jew Boy. This kid's parents are making it an absolute certainty that this kid is going to be unbearable. I guess it's really not his fault.

I was NOT a big fan of the Occupy Wall St movement....but this helps me understand their anger.

 This is the strangest video I've seen in the past 10 years, which probably has more do with the lyrics than any of the visuals. It's called "If Nobody Believed in You," by Joe Nichols.  There are a lot of heavy ideas in this clip: The first verse is about how you shouldn't scream at a small child for not swinging his bat on a 3-2 count, which seems like reasonable child-rearing advice. The second verse is about how it's morally wrong to stop an elderly parent from driving a car, which seems a little more questionable. Some old people shouldn't be driving. The lyric even states "..this time I'm gonna pass that test", clearly inferring that the old man has FAILED several driving tests. I woner how Joe Nichols would feel if that old man backed into his new Porsche.  But it's the third verse that really goes for the jugular; the third verse posits an  apocalyptic possibility that is both supernatural and specific. It suggests a worst-case scenario that I didn't even know was on the table. I totally didn't see it coming, but maybe that's my own fault.  Joe Nichols needs to lighten up.

I probably deal in absolutes more than I should, but this is the greatest song ever written, off of one of the greatest albums ever made....written by the greatest musical artist we will ever see.

If we can compare Stevie's musical artistry/virtuoisity to a CrossFitter, we'd be talking about a dude who can run a 4:00 mile, snatch 330lbs, do 150 consecutive pullups and walk on his hands across two football fields...maybe not the absolute BEST in the world at any one thing...but borderline elite at sooo many things. He wrote the music, wrote the lyrics, sang the songs, played the piano AND produced his music...all on a very high level.  Case closed.

ANOTHER REST DAY!!!! GO FIGURE

Day 5 of the cleanse. It's not that i'm actually hungry..I just miss the taste of food. This Madal Syrup/lemonny concoction is starting to taste like piss. (the term "piss" is what would be called a metaphor...a figure of speech not LITERALLY applicable...as I actually have no FUCKING idea what piss  tastes like). Anyway, after speaking to my Naturopath yesterday, he said i can have some very well cooked veggies and some Soup later, but no animal protein until Saturday. It's probably hard for him to imagine how badly I wanted to smack him, but being that my progesterone levels rival those of any women, I better listen to him before I start gettin' those bitch tits.

 The most painful part of this was hearing DaveFranklin talk about his experience at HARD EIGHT BBQ. I am heading to Austin in March for the PALEO FX GET TOGETHER to get a greater understanding of diet/health etc... but I'm really only going so I can get to that BBQ joint.

Anywaysssssss...onto a video. I saw this one a couple of months ago I feel it's important to take another look.

Once again the video speaks for itself.  If by chance any of you want to try this dance at home, please don't forget to casually mix in the many variations of "smashing your head against your partners ASS" from time to time. Something about this video makes my nuts hurt..I can't figure it out.

Thanks to Rhino for sharing this with me. I'm not sure what it says when it seems to be OK that a fat old man in a plain white tee, with black shorts which are WAAAAYYYY too high above his knees, is simultaneously groping two women's crotches. It might be said that he is a fucking genius...probably getting paid to do this.  Either way...I just signed up for THIS COURSE. 

OK---In case anybody noticed, I posted a negative review of the President's "State of the Union" last night, but removed it. This won't be the forum for political debate... This blog will be about my training and goofing on/admiring videos, entertainers, athletes etc.....in other words, it will be entirely about goofing on/admiring videos, entertainers, athletes etc...
In that vain, it's time to comment on the best scene in one of my favorite movies ever.. Jerry Maguire

I can't even imagine what it must have been like for Tom and Cuba to act out this scene...how many "takes' it took etc....but this is an 11 on a scale of 1-10.

:53 nah i air dry

1:24  "..wait, you're telling me to dance"

1:34-1:40 Was it? Was it? Clearly Rod tidwell was paid to play in pee wee football.

2:03  tom had to hurt his foot right there

2:28-2:43  Only Tom Cruise can pull that off...seriously ..who else could have pulled that off? Cameron Crow first offered this part to Tom Hanks (and cleptomaniac Winona Ryder as Dorothy Boyd) but there's NO WAY Tom Hanks pulls this off as well. Even Tom Hanks know THIS to be true.

Then Cuba takes it across the goal line.

Brilliant....

REST DAY

OK---I'm not really sleeping but I did just watch this video

The Captain is clearly high as a fucking kite, and Toni Tennille clearly lost a bet to somebody..the wager being if she loses she has to get one of those horrible Dorothy Hamill insipired haircuts. In the meantime, the real magic in this video occurs at the :58 mark when the two stars of this fiasco (Muskrat Suzie and Muskrat Sam) descend down  from the heavens and land, superimposed, on Toni's shoulders. Those are real people underneath those costumes!!! Bizarre. Throw in the Captains Funky synthesizer lick around the 2:10 mark, and you officially have possibly the worst live performance in the HISTORY of TV. The only thing I can remember which was more bizarre than this was Lionel Ritchie's SUPER CREEPY performance in his "HELLO" video.

He plays a teacher who is basically stalking a blind girl. WTF was he thinking when he cast himself as the creepy teacher? The video speaks for itself but the MOST bizarre part of this video occurs around the 3:43 mark.
The fact that this creepy teacher has his student's home phone number is kinda creepy. Calling her at night is even more creepy. Not saying anything, after the blind chick picks up the phone,  for 6 seconds is EVEN more creepy. Not identifying himself, but instead belting out "HELLO!!!! IS IT ME YOU"RE LOOKING FOR???!!!!!" is just too fucking much. I think he proceeds to put the phone in his pants...but i might be wrong.

Mr Tam Ba Li De se ne moiya.. hey..jambo jambo may have fooled my Wife (Sarah thinks Lionel is a God!!!), but I think there is ample evidence that he was a creepy assclown who had a sweet voice and wrote a couple of good tunes...oh yeah..all while looking a bit like THIS guy. I'm going back to sleep.

I'm working on my blogging skills so i hope this works. I came across this video while watching CMG head into orbit and being that I'm losing my mind while going thru THIS bullshit, so I sat here and gave this video/song some thought.

Ripping the song for improper use of the term "ironic" has been de rigueur  since the day it came out. It's a silly tune with nonsensical lyrics ("10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife"? huh??) and would have been more appropriately titled "M
an...Doesn't that SUCK!!!"  In the meantime.. I love this tune. Sue me. It's a great tune from a great album..period.   Ive got one hand in my pocket, and the other is extending its middle finger to the haters.

I might have to rename this "Adrenal Dysfunction 24/7". In my infinite wisdom I shorted CMG a while ago (Chipotle Mexiacan Grill) @ around 340. After watching it drop to 290 and  proclaiming that owning this stock is for morons, it has since rallied to 359.(at least we know who the moron is)  Watching it move in this manner is probably affecting my cortisol in an unhealthy manner. Peter Lynch wrote one of the great books on investing ever,  titled 'Beat The Street". In part, his thesis was that anybody can be a great stock picker by just spending time at any mall, and just notice which shops were inhabited by the teenagers. EG--go to the mall today, and it's a sure thing that the Apple store is packed...and has been for YEARS.  Anyway, it's hard not to notice that there are lines at Chipotle every day. My guess is that Peter Lynch owns CMG. Right--I guess I'm smarter than that guy....I'm such a fucking moron. Furthermore THIS is making me LOSE MY FUCKING MIND!!!!!

Today is a rest day. I've been instructed by some mad scientist to go through THIS process. It has become clear in the last 1.5 days that I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  I'm down to 207 lbs from 227 lbs in a week. Sean commented that I had a lot of "extra cellular fluid". Whatever it is,  at this pace I will weigh 47 lbs when this MVT challenge ends, and most certainly will win the bet I made with Adam Frankel.    It would be nice to win this bet in light of the fact I bet the 49ers last night, laying 2.5 points. Little did i know that it was their punt returner that booked the bet for me. FML!!!